What kinda Junk is in the trunk?

It is with a VERY joyful heart that I write this blog today. Or this morning I guess because it is 3:19am. Why am I still up?

The reason I am still awake at this unholy hour is that I am pumped full of drugs that react in MY system as speed, or crank etc. Normal people would have passed out hours ago.

The reason for the drugs is that I had some very minor skin surgery today. (Yesterday actually). I am just fine in case you are worrying.

Back to the Joyful heart stuff. Kathy and I went to our "Get to find out what kinda junk is in the trunk" ultra-sound on Thursday morning and the results I am going to post here, right now. . .





wait for it. . .








I am teary eyed just writing this. . .



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I AM GOING TO BE THE FATHER OF A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL. Aka a daughter, or daddy's little girl. I can hardly wait.

I am shedding tears as I write this I am so effin HAPPY.

I would have been happy no matter what, but Kathy and I both were hoping for a girl. Actually begging the universe not to screw us and give us what we want. A GIRL!!!!

The universe obliged.

If any of you reading this would like to know the wonderful name we will be giving our daughter, feel free to call me and I will tell you over the phone or in person.

Just writing it here does not do it justice. Really folks it's that gorgeous of a name!

I love my little girl and I can't wait to spoil the shit out of her.

Bye,

Mike

I love you Kathy for giving me this. (Sappy I know)

Very happy day.

Today Kathy and I found out what the sex of the baby is going to be and also that it looks like she will be giving birth to an enormous sum of CASH! All of the technicians were perplexed by this but it apparently has happened before. A woman in Bombay, India gave birth to an amazingly cute little boy, and over $200,000 worth of Spanish gold coins!

We're hoping for at least that much.

Here are baby Moo's first pictures. We can't wait to meet IT!

Moo

I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.I told you so.

Kathy is hot!

Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!Kathy is HOT!!!

Traffic Panic

I know we have all experienced a little road rage from time to time. We get cut off, tailgated, flipped off and yelled at by some stupid butthole who is dead sure he owns the piece of asphalt his car is on at any given moment. But have you ever experienced, (or know someone who has,) TRAFFIC PANIC!!! Aaaaaaagggghhhhh!

First of all the definition of traffic panic, is when you HAVE to be somewhere at a designated time and no matter what road you are driving on, it will be the wrong way to go. Congestion, road repairs or accident it makey no difference.

You are now out of breath, possibly starting to sweat from your entire head, I know I do, and suddenly your brain goes into fuggin overdrive trying to decide if driving down the sidewalk will get you there on time. " I have got to fuckin be there on time," says your brain. If I am late for this one more time I could possibly fall over dead. PANIC ATTACK!!!!!

The only known cure for this is prevention. If you have to be somewhere on Tuesday at 3pm, reschedule it for another time because in the Northwest you will not be getting there EVER!

The only other way to handle this problem or any other problem really is to somehow not be alive.

Go screw yourself traffic panic, we don't like you.

On another note. Tomorrow is the day Kathy and I have been waiting for. We get to find out if the baby Kathy is carrying in her tummy sack is a human. I am pretty sure it is, but just to make sure we have scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow.

I know it will be very exciting to find out if it is a boy or a girl, but know matter what, I just hope it is human and not some creature.

Adios

Liver failure

Liver failure can happen to anyone at anytime.

Please wipe the blood of a dead animal on your face to show your support of livers not failing. You will only think liver failure is funny until it is your liver that is doing the failing.

Liver failure is not awesome.

M

Why am I still awake?

I am still awake because I have realllllly bad tendonitis in my left arm! It isn't the pain that is keeping me awake as much as it is the awesome stench of "Icy Hot."

I was checking around under the desk and tables in my house for some boogers to put BACK in my nose to help stop the Icy hot odor in its tracks. I didn't find any. Probably good because they would not have been mine, but they would have been boogers from one of the "dirty" boys that occasionally overstay their welcome in my house. I could have contracted some kind of virus I'm sure.

Kathy, my lovely wife, writes a blog almost everyday. I think it is part of her job, but I am not sure. In any case I thought I would try and write a blog for a while.

So here it is. I will write again when the time is right.

Remember, Jesus died for YOUR sins. He didn't die for mine.

Adios Bitches!!!!